Chop Chop

So, eight weeks ago I discovered a lump in my right breast.  It was the beginning of what I knew was going to be a horrible experience.  I knew it was going to be cancer before I went to the doctor.  I have to say that I am so impressed with the doctors and technicians that I have met along the way.  They have been understanding and quick to move me through the battery of tests.

I started with a mammogram and then an ultrasound.  The radiologists told me then that I was dealing with cancer and wanted to schedule a core needle biopsy as soon as possible.  After the biopsy, I met with a breast health doctor.  She confirmed the type of breast cancer  that I had,which was Invasive Ductal Cancer.  The biopsy also showed that a lymph node showed cancer as well. She ordered ct scans to make sure that the cancer had not spread.  It is torture waiting for the results.  It is all that you think about and of course you think the worst.  My doctor was wonderful and emailed me and called me on a Sunday to let me know that all the scans were clear and the cancer had not spread anywhere else.

This is the darkest time.  This is the time when your mind takes you to the scariest of places.  This is when you have out of body experiences because there is nothing to tell people and you go about your life as normal.  I have always tried to be cognizant of the fact that people are feeling and experiencing some big things on a day to day basis and this really rang true for me now that I was experiencing this.  DH (dear husband) and I decided that we would tell our kids that something was going on but that we didn't know what.  I wasn't willing to talk about cancer until we had a full diagnosis and a plan in place.  We told them I had a lump in my breast and I had to have tests to find out what it was and cancer was a possibility.  Kids are amazing and have such resilience.  As adults I don't think we give them enough credit for their ability to understand what is happening around them and adapt to the situation.  I , of course was so very sad because I felt I was taking away their innocence and happiness.  My daughter is 12 and understands the scary places that I was visiting.  My son who is 9 doesn't understand wholly the issue at hand. 

We are a family who finds humor in everything.  I have always believed in humor as a healing method and have taught that to my children.  My sweet girl came to me and asked if it was cancer then I would chop chop right?  Meaning I would have a masectomy.  That became our go to.  You bet,  chop chop with the hand motions!  Then I realized chop chop meant more than removing the offending cancer.  It meant chop chop, get the job done.  Buck up, it is time to move forward.

So, chop chop.  I had a double masectomy on the 13th of January.  It was such a relief when surgery was over.  Cancer gone!  Cancer free!  I was back to myself, just a few pounds lighter. 

I am still recovering from surgery and waiting to start chemotherapy.  I will be starting my chemo in a couple of weeks.  Until then, I am concentrating on being healthy, getting my stength and mobility back.  It's kind of nice, I am not allowed to vaccuum, do laundry or lift anything over 5lbs.  Way to teach the family to help around the house!